First Trimester

Thankfully I am not in my first trimester. I mean that in the best way possible. My first trimester was a roller coaster, as I'm sure any pregnant women will feel. At first I was in shock because no matter how prepared you think you are, you are never really prepared for the mountain of emotions you'll feel. I had mostly "normal" symptoms, the one where you felt nauseous every minute of the day, fatigue at all times of the day where you'll need a nap even after you just take a shower. I felt like it was a fight between my mind and body because as much as I wanted to be productive my body just wanted me to rest. Eventually you have to surrender and take a nap. Aside from these symptoms, I had a lot of stress from work. It started to affect my health. It was the first that I had ever felt this way. To be quite honest I felt so isolated, more so than ever before. I was struggling with anxiety at work along with feeling like I was going to puke and pass out, but I was still in my first trimester that I didn't want to share the news yet. I had some questions about what to do. Of course I kept this all to myself. In case you haven't figured out I am a thinker. Aside from my fears and doubts, there were some memorable moments. 

This time around, my husband and I were in the same state. In my first pregnancy, I was away at college. This time it was special because we were together and he read the test result to me. We waited to tell our son until after my first doctor's appointment. Finally we told him and he didn't believe us. He had been asking for a baby, "baby brother" to be exact for months. He talked about his friends at school going to "sibling pick up" and meeting their brother and sister. Eventually he started hugging and talking to my belly asking if the baby would be here in 9 days. (ha I wish). 

This is one of my memorable moments from my first trimester. For Christmas, my family and I visited family in Las Vegas and we found this canyon to hike. Yes I hiked this canyon, I didn't go as far as my family did but this moment I felt my strength again, I felt at peace for the first time in a while. I actually felt proud that I made it this far and that also I knew not to push myself and over do it. That was the biggest lesson for me. I knew my limit and said this is enough for me. For the past year, I pushed myself to being the best mother, wife, friend, employee that I completely burnt myself out. For the first time in while I had to listen to my body, this baby that what I am doing is enough. 

XOXO Savina 


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